Ugh

I am definitely in mania mode.   I've overspent and it's the first of the month so it's going to be rough the rest of the month.  I got 3 hours of sleep...and it was one of those sleeps that was out of pure exhaustion.  I didn't realize how tense I was until I laid down and realized every one of my muscles was tense.  I didn't feel the tension until I felt them start to relax, however short lived.    Gods I was so tense and shaking and didn't realize it.   That's how bad sometimes the anxiety is.  At least in those 3 hours, I was dead to the world.  Sometimes I wish I never would wake up.  It would be better off for everyone.