Ugh
I am definitely in mania mode. I've overspent and it's the first of the month so it's going to be rough the rest of the month. I got 3 hours of sleep...and it was one of those sleeps that was out of pure exhaustion. I didn't realize how tense I was until I laid down and realized every one of my muscles was tense. I didn't feel the tension until I felt them start to relax, however short lived. Gods I was so tense and shaking and didn't realize it. That's how bad sometimes the anxiety is. At least in those 3 hours, I was dead to the world. Sometimes I wish I never would wake up. It would be better off for everyone.
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Sometimes, I believe it would be better for us, but I\'ve never yet thought that it would be better for those around me. As bad as it can be for them to HAVE us in their lives, it would be worse if we were dead. I wish I was dead almost all the time. Even when I\'m in a good mood. I feel like life just isn\'t for me.
Sigh. I\'m sorry that you overspent and now have to go without.
Do you have PRN meds that you can take, to try to give you a decent night\'s sleep? Have you called your Pdoc? Maybe get a med tweak to help you sleep? (Or don\'t you even do Pdocs and meds?)
I hope something helps you come down soon, and gently!!! I\'d hate to see you go through a bad crash. I hate anxiety even more than depression, most of the time. I hope you can find something to help you deal with it!!! (((((Hugs)))))