Numb

I spent today cooking at Mom's until I ran out of things to cook.  I was trying to work off the anxiety by cooking.  Chopping things is very therapeutic sometimes.  I just don't want to think or do anything.  Course, I worried about my boys who had gone to a church service as it started snowing hard (first white xmas here in 17 years and only the 9th on record.)  My boys aren't used to driving on snow.    But now I'm at home and I'm numb.   I feel nothing.  I want to sleep to just  sleep but I'm so restless.  Can't go anywhere as everywhere is closed.  This is actually better than normal as I don't feel depressed... just numb.  Maybe I'm part Vulcan and have no feelings.
I think my medicine only works halfway.   I still get depressed modes and hypo modes.  I still seem to start crying for no reason and am hypersensitive to insults.  I still snap at people without realizing it.  It does help me sleep and my thinking is clearer.  It has also taken care of my migraines as I've only had one since I started. 
The more I think about tomorrow, the more depressed I'm getting.  I think it's depression although there is still mostly numbness.