ARGH!

I got a letter today from the insurance company that they weren't going to cover my Lamatcil.  Mind you, the generic is on their formulary but only as an anti-seizer medication.  It seemed to be working too.     That means, we'll have to find another drug that may not work as well for me.   That's what happened before.  Prior insurance wouldn't pay for the Lexapro when I was on it at the dosage I needed.  Mind you, that was years ago and it didn't do anything but alleviate the depression.  When I crash again (and I will) I don't know what I will do. 
 
I just want to scream and hurt something.  But I won't hurt anything. I just don't know how to deal with this frustration without bottling it.   I don't know how to deal with any emotion without bottling it.   No wonder I'm numb.