I am at work. Been keeping busy and once again all the sudden I realize it has been 43 days since I have seen my Marissa! I had to log in and write to all of you I do not want to break down here at work. I miss her so unbelievably bad and still cannot believe she is gone. My oldest daughter is having a really bad day today, It kills me that I cannot find words to comfort her. They were so close but yet complete opposites. I feel so helpless! Ugh
My heart aches for both of my girls.
My heart aches for both of my girls.
Replies
I am with you, and you do well to write when emotions just get so strong. It\'s hard to know what to say to the siblings. I have to tell one to breathe, today. We are all wounded, and instead of it being compassionate, it separates us.
You do well going to work. I used to go to the gym every day.Now, five years later, not so much. I am holding your hand, tight hugs, each day brings its healing. Love, Abby
Writing does help. As mothers it is our nature to want to fix things for our children. When my girls are having a harder day, I just try to be there to hold them or listen. Whatever seems to comfort them the most. Sometimes nothing does and we cry together. This is so hard and we just have to find our way the best we can I think. Much love, Paula
I\'m so sorry for your recent loss of your precious Marissa. I lost my son November 8th this year. My heart goes out to you, and I\'m just taking this one little moment at a time and it is so hard right now. The pain is so intense right now for me as well. I miss my son so much too. Hugs to you.
Chris
(((hugs))). I am with you and I am so so sorry. It is just so damn sad and that sadness sometimes overwhelms us. I went back to work 2 weeks after my daughter died and those first few months was so difficult. I found my tolerance filter or \"shit shield\" as it\'s better known has holes in it and I\'m just not as tolerant as I used to be. My emotions are so raw at times.
I can tell you, it is so important for you to rest, don\'t do too much, and sometimes you just have to BE in those feelings.
I am with you, sitting right beside you, missing Marissa with you. Vicki
Working is so hard. I went back 2 weeks after my son died as well. I\'m not the worker that I used to be. I can\'t focus, and I really don\'t want to be there. I find myself thinking about my sweet Ralph all of the time. I know all of you have been through this, it is unimaginable to lose a child. A child that I loved and adored. I don\'t think that I mentioned this but my husband committed suicide 3 years ago. He was bipolar, so I became a single parent. I just wanted everyone else to be okay. I can\'t believe that I have to undergo another loss. Hugs to you all. I think everyone is so courageous for going through this,
Chris
In the beginning I counted the days, each one an unbearable eternity. I am now almost six years on this journey, if I was to count the days my mind would probably explode. We miss their physical presence so much, I came across a quote I live - \"The presence of his absence is everywhere\" . I will always yearn for a hug, a kiss, a smile. But we learn to make do with what we have, the memories, the signs, the love. I\'m sure you want to take away your daughter\'s pain and yet know you can. It is all so unreal. Tight hugs and much love. Sue xo
You\'re never alone here....we understand.....we care.
Tight hugs. I wish I could be there to cry with you. As Vicki said, you are never alone. We are here and understand.
Love, Marlene