starting over

I haven't eaten for a day and a half. I didn't binge before it started, and I don't remember why it started.. I'm afraid to eat now because I know I'll end up binging and make the cycle continue.  I'm hoping that by writing down something, I can convince myself to eat, but not overeat. at least for this meal, and once this one is over, it'll be easier to eat a normal amount on the next one because I didn't binge or fast right before it.  hopefully it works.