Life right now is rough.  Last week I began to see my new therapist outside of the Kaiser network.  He made me sign a contract a live, I hate it but oh well.  I haven’t told my Kaiser therapist about this, have an appointment next Monday.  Work is tough.  I don’t want to be there.  I don’t know why.  I hate the tension, the uneasiness of everyone else around me.  I truly hate the place, hate my bosses, my coworkers but I love my job.  I restart school next week.  I am doing it just to get some more art skills and social skills.  I don’t need to, but I want to.  I am taking some positive steps, but some days I feel like giving in.  The mornings are the worst.  If I don’t sleep the whole night through I lay there at 2 or 3 in the morning thinking about everything and then I start thinking of ways to end this mess.  If I do sleep then I don’t want to get up.  I know I am amidst a tough time in my life; I must get through this through.  I manage cluster headaches, have for three years now.  I can manage depression as well.