I feel like I have made progress.  I saw a therapist outside of Kasier.  One who will not judge and will help me get out of this mess.  They say I have Depression, anxiety, anger and border line personality disorder.  They reduced my 100 mg Seroquel to 50 and it ain’t cuttin’ it.  Taking Prozac 20 mg and Ativan as needed.  I fee like shit.  Yesterday I just sat around the house and the thoughts of suicide crept back in my head.  The new therapist made me sign a contract to live, I hate it.  I don’t want to face God and saw-“I was fed up with, I couldn’t take it anymore.”  This is the start of more journaling and hopefully peace and healing some day.