Okay I have not written in a while, here's whats on my mind-I have been on 5 mg of Prozac for almost three weeks. I must call my shrink and let her know if I think it is working, or not. I can’t say. I am still “suffering”. I think a lot of this stems from my life being absolutely chaotic and unsettled since October. I am working, each day, each week, to put it right, (now that I think I know what is wrong). I don’t like this shrink; she thinks I am making up medical issues for attention. I had a severe sore throat, I thought Strep. I went into the doctor and when the test came back negative I asked if I had rushed things. She very quickly replied “No! It’s better to at least record these things”. She then gave me something for the viral infection-most likely due to my braces in my mouth. I also have to look forward. Next Wednesday I have my teeth cleaned, first time since the braces went on. I then have my first adjustment the following Monday-and I know it will hurt like hell. Sure some people say things like this are only as bad as you think. Wrong. No matter what I say or do, it will hurt like hell! I am trying to do my guided imagery, get back on a regular exercise program before it occurs. I am also taking that day, the 2, through the 4th off. The 3rd is a one year anniversary of a nightmarish hell at a dental office that traumatized me greatly. I will be staying in a hotel and maybe climbing Pike’s Peak, if I feel alright. The coming weeks will be very hard, and I haven’t even gotten use to the current dental pain. I am not sure how much longer I can be strong. I have gone from facing life one day at a time to one hour at a time. I have to make small goals in my near future just to give me a reason to open my eyes in the morning. Even if they will be painful, I know they will help my overall physical health. Then I come back to this phone call I have to make. Is the Prozac working? I don’t think so. But is it? I mean I am seeing what I need to change and am doing something about it, but could that just be from the therapy and countless hours of soul searching? I don’t want to stay on Prozac forever. Do I put on a happy face for them and tell them everything’s okay; after all I hate them anyway. Or do I just forget about the pills, forget about calling them and hope they won’t call me. I quit going to their group sessions without a phone call and no one has called me. Do I cower or do I fight? Man I just do not know. Sorry this post has been so long, but my life seems so messed up. Any advice would help me make this decision, thanks-DJ.
Replies