Monday

Another weekend has passed.  I'm not really sure what happened, sometimes my memory goes a little fuzzy when I'm so absorbed in everything.  Oh, right.  I went to see a show with my little sister on Friday night.  It's her favorite artist.  It was great having her here for the two days.  I think she is the only person I can just be myself with.
Watching her enjoy the show was so great.  It made me realize that maybe life is worth living - even if it's just occasionally. (But it was a really great show).  I get so wrapped up in all my issues (in my own life!) that I barely notice the people around me.  This has to stop.  Everything in the world is not always about me.  I always thought I was just a control freak, but the more I read and learn the more I'm beginning to realize it might actually be something like ocd.
I haven't been diagnosed so I can't tell for sure.  A doctor is NOT an option.  I still feel numb though there seems to be a little bit of fear seeping in through a crack somewhere.  At least I've stopped binging for now.