Thank you

Thank you to all the people who have sent me hugs and friend requests and messages.
I am trying to keep up with DS, but am way behind acknowledging all the messages comments etc.
Today was the 10 year date when we lost Tamzin. Too much to say here now but I felt really upset of course - so ripped off for Tamzin & his life all lost and for my younger son Nat & for me losing my baby (at all his ages).
I sort of understand cos Tamzin was so good, and its true, all of of these lost sons & daughters on here all look so good...but its too cruel.
It still makes me feel very angry and cynical at times, resentful, unforgiving all that - but I also realize I almost accept it,but not in a good way....I will never really accept it in the way I am expected to. Why isnt there a sad face? cos when you aren't ok but not feeling bad or horrible just sad. I guess the bad face is closest.
I wrote alot about Tamzin in the past decade but there's never enough time. I would like to read everyone's stories now. Thank you

Replies

CorriesMom
CorriesMom

One of the great things about DS and FMO is that you never need to apologize for anything. No need to acknowledge all messages and comments. No need to journal all the time. No need not to journal all the time. It\'s all about what YOU need to do to forward your healing process and to bring YOU comfort. Read journals, comments, send hugs, chat online, read the message boards ~ only as much or as often as what makes YOU feel better.

Corrie\'s angel date is July 27th (we\'re facing our first one next week and everyone in our family has been having a tough month). All month I\'ve been struggling with many of the feelings you express ~ much of the anger, resentfulness and bitterness have resurfaced. An old Billy Joel song says \"only the good die young\". And sometimes I believe it though not really because ~ after all ~ look at us! ;) We\'re good and we\'re still kicking around. Though it does seem that often many of the young people with the most talent and promise are inexplicably snatched from this earth. I have no clue why. Some mythologies might say that the gods are jealous and want our precious children for themselves. Who knows?

Do we ever \"accept\" this horrific loss? I don\'t really think that we do. We will always feel that somehow, somewhere our precious children are waiting just around the corner to jump out and hug us. But we do learn to work around this longing ache we feel and to face each day with renewed determination, seeking new sources of comfort and even joy.

I think the far right frowny face looks pretty sad. Maybe that one could work.

I hope you find comfort, solace and peace in reading some of the journals today.

Sending much love and hugs of empathy on this 10 year anniversary ~ Tamzin ~ you are so deeply loved and missed!

Debbie
deleted_user
deleted_user

God bless you and your family with peace on this day. Thinking of your beautiful son and angel, Tamzin. Love, Julia
KandL
KandL

Thnking of you & your family especially Tamzin on this day. Love to you. Linda
lynette22
lynette22

In love and honor on his angel date I say his name out loud....TAMZIN. May you feel his love and light surround you today! Hugs and prayers, Lynette ~ Matthews mom
ihart
ihart

You don\'t have to accept your sons death the way\"you are expected to\" cause there is no such thing. We create our own way of dealing with things and it doesn\'t matter what others say or do.
You were ripped off as was every person that would have come in contact with Tamzin. For me it will be 4 years on Sept 28 . I have started to live my life again, I have more good days then bad days. I no longer want to die to be with my son. Overall I am doing better. I still have times where I fall apart but they don\'t last as long .
I wanted to add that FMO is to make us come together as a group and support each other . It is not a place when we don\'t have time that we need to feel guilty . We all have time at different times so it all evens itself out.Hugs, Inga
NoraMc
NoraMc

Sending you my prayers and love on this special day, a sad special day. peace , Nora
mummar
mummar

Thinking of you and Tamzin today. Wishing you peace, strength and love ~ Joanna
biowoman
biowoman

Please do not worry about contacting each of us...we are here whenever you need us...and you can gradually talk to each of us...but please do not feel pressure. This is a place to release pressure...not feel pressure. So glad your here...love ot you...Karen
deleted_user
deleted_user

This is a place we can just be, no apologies, no sorries, just be what ever we need to be at any given time. You are not forced to respond to every hug and message, those that touch you is enough. Wishing you a better day hugs Cathy
CorysMom
CorysMom

I loved the tribute from Matthews Mom...I have shouted out Tamzin name with tears for you and your dear son. Peace. Peggy
deleted_user
deleted_user

I sincerely hope you can feel all the arms surrounding you in one giant hug from all of the Moms here at DS FMO. Truly your friend, BarbaraWawa
ColleenF
ColleenF

Love& hugs, Colleen
TamzinsMum
TamzinsMum

Thank you everyone. This morning I had been thinking about my using the \'accept\' word and wondering why I wrote that when I meant more that I feel \'resigned to\' Tamzin being gone, but not ever peaceful not ever. It feels so horrible to live without your child having their life. Still, I am always thankful that I was able to be with him though only I wish I had been stronger for him but I know that he knew I was trying. Anyway thank you to everyone for reassurance about how often I can comment and reply to DS. I really appreciate you all and wish I knew all your children.
BinkyH
BinkyH

I am sending warm thoughts your way. Don\'t ever worry about getting behind on messages, hugs etc. It is hard to keep up sometimes, but we are here for each other all the time. Hugs, Belinda