i'm trying so hard at the moment not to be angry and yet i cannot help wanting to hurt,i know thing's are not supposed to be easy and yet i make thing's more and more difficult.if only i could just let go, just find that peace again, if only i could stop this pain, maybe everything would be okay.if i close my eye's i can almost feel the blade, i know i should'nt but i just carn't help it.there's nowhere left to go.nothingness is my salvation and yet thing's seem okay to everyone else, even to me at time's.while ever i can not think, while ever i can make people laugh then i don't feel anything,which is the best way, to feel or not ??????.i have no reason to hurt anymore and yet all i want is that darkness to consume me, to take me away from what it is that i am. maybe it is right to hurt at least then there is something to be felt, not just to be sick with one's own mortality, if this is heaven then what is hell ???????.