13 weeks today
Well, as my title says, I am thirteen weeks pregnant today :) only another seven weeks and I will know whether little rabbit is a boy or a girl. Another couple of weeks and I should start to feel it wriggle. I've had some flutters, but don't know if it is just wishful thinking.
Got my counselling today at two. We're going through the worksheets she gave me last time. They were all about recognising where the blame lies. Thing is, I get that logically, I understand that there was nothing I could have done, that I didn't 'bring it on myself'. But logic isn't always the thing that rules my head, my nightmares, my dark moods. I actually had a dreamless sleep last night, a welcome relief from the nightmares.
Why am I dreaming about him so much now? I never did before, but nearly every night is plagued by nightmares. I wake up crying, or in a panic. And my poor husband doesn't know what to do about it.
Sometimes I dream about punching him in the face, but it's like I'm throwing a punch underwater, and I get incredibly frustrated that I can't hurt him. Maybe that's a reflection on my inability to punish him in real life. I honestly thought once I disclosed that he WOULD be punished. But he has gotten away with it scott free. My husband wants me to report him, but I know it will be my word against his, even though he admitted it to my mum, he wouldn't admit it to the police. And I can't rely on my mum to back me up on that one. But if I don't report it....can I express a concern to child services if my siste allows him access to any children SHE has? Or would he need to be a known offender for that to hold weight.... I need to think about this some more.
Got my counselling today at two. We're going through the worksheets she gave me last time. They were all about recognising where the blame lies. Thing is, I get that logically, I understand that there was nothing I could have done, that I didn't 'bring it on myself'. But logic isn't always the thing that rules my head, my nightmares, my dark moods. I actually had a dreamless sleep last night, a welcome relief from the nightmares.
Why am I dreaming about him so much now? I never did before, but nearly every night is plagued by nightmares. I wake up crying, or in a panic. And my poor husband doesn't know what to do about it.
Sometimes I dream about punching him in the face, but it's like I'm throwing a punch underwater, and I get incredibly frustrated that I can't hurt him. Maybe that's a reflection on my inability to punish him in real life. I honestly thought once I disclosed that he WOULD be punished. But he has gotten away with it scott free. My husband wants me to report him, but I know it will be my word against his, even though he admitted it to my mum, he wouldn't admit it to the police. And I can't rely on my mum to back me up on that one. But if I don't report it....can I express a concern to child services if my siste allows him access to any children SHE has? Or would he need to be a known offender for that to hold weight.... I need to think about this some more.
Replies
You can think about reporting him even if it doesn\'t lead to a successful prosecution. The public shame alone is a kind of punishment, and it establishes a record that may be built on in case he gets caught again in future. Maybe you will feel good knowing you did whatever you could, even if it\'s not enough to put him in jail.
On the other hand, you should give first priority to your own well-being, and not contemplate anything that may cause you more trauma.