I feel so uncomfortable and weird. I had a panic attack out of nowhere an hour ago and couldn't calm myself down at all. Finally it eased up a little and I went out to my living room and got online to distract myself, but when it finally quit I went back in my room and, as soon as I shut my door, it started again!
 
I hate this shit so much. I hate myself for having it and not being able to control it or get rid of it. I hate not being able to afford treatment. I hate being scared and worried all the time. This is all so stupid!