My therapist went into private practice and I haven't heard from her since. We were supposed to have a session last Thursday to discuss me seeing her there instead, but she blew me off ONCE AGAIN (this is the fifth time in two months) and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do or even where the place is located. I feel like she's hinting that she doesn't want to see me, because if she did she would have made a fucking effort to let me know. It really makes me sad because I was very close to her and I looked forward to therapy everyday and she was one of the few people I really trusted. I can't see another therapist because 1). I don't want to see anyone but her and 2). I'll just be paranoid that they'll do what she did the whole time and nothing will be accomplished. I also decided to secretly stop taking the Wellbutrin and Prozac I"ve been taking since June today. They haven't helped whatsoever, despite everyone saying they have (I THINK I'D KNOW GUYS) and the side-effects suck so much. And it's pointless anyway. Nothing will ever fix me because I deserve to be this way. I deserve all the bad shit going on in my head because I'm a terrible person. This is just a punishment for that. Sometimes I don't even really believe it's a disease. I really wish my aunt and uncle were still alive so I could kill myself and not feel guilty about it.