I think they fucked everything up when they upped my dosage. I'm fine one minute and then the next I'm locking myself in my friends bathroom and searching for things to cut with. I didn't find anything, but I'm seriously considering having my mom pick me up so I can go home and cut my arm off or something. I want to be normal! I want to be healthy mentally without the use of pills that screw my head up just when I think I'm getting better!
I can't handle this. Too much is happening and I'm far too stressed. I just don't want to do this anymore. I feel like it's a wasted effort and I'm just temporarily using my mother and my friends for comfort until I find the courage to kill myself.