I just want my mother. I want her to wake up and walk out here just so I can see her and be in the same room with her. And I want to tell her how sad and scared and upset I feel, and how worthless everything seems anymore, and I want her to help me. I don’t understand what’s happening and she’s like the only constant I’ve ever had in my life. I need her to tell me I can make it through this because right now I really don’t think I can. But I'm so afraid she won't take it seriously, and I'm going to end up going through with all the things I've been thinking about. No one understands how absolutely horrible this has been. All week I've just panicked and cried and cut because I can't do anything else. It follows me everywhere, and there's nothing I can do to get away from it. I need her help so bad. I'm going to get on my knees and beg her as soon as she wakes up.