bleh

Okay, so Ive been on the prozac a little over two weeks and it seemed like it started to help but for the past few days its been getting bad again. The obsessions are coming back and when I have panic attacks theyre more severe then theyve ever been. I dont know if this is me or the medication. I get randomly nervous throughout the day and get that "depersonalization" feeling like nothings real and it drives me nuts. It's like i can't ever completely have fun cause I'm always anxious in some way. My doc perscribed me seroquel and i took it one day then never again. I didnt like the way it made me feel plus the fact that I didnt want heavy meds like that. Im only on 10mgs of prozac maybe I need 20. I also take xanex but just .25 mgs as needed. sometimes once a day sometimes twice. if i'm really bad i usually take 1 and a half. I;m going back 2 the doc who perscribed me this. Hes not a psychiatrist but he specializes in anxiety depression and addiction. I dont really like him much, I dont feel comfortable with him but uinfortunately i have to stick with him for now because every psychiatrist i called either doesnt take my insurance or I have to wait like 1 month to get them and i need someone to monitor my medication I'm on now. I'm going back to him on tuesday just to see whats up but Im scared. i dont want him 2 give me more meds or get pissed cause i didnt like the seroquel. I wish it was easier to get a psychiatrist! Im gonna keep trying. As of now im confused about the prozac and xanex. the prozac seemed to be working somehow but now idk. The xanex, i keep getting immune to the small doses ive been taking and im afraid to raise it cause I dont wanna get addicted but as of now i still need it bad because my panic gets horrible thru the day if Im out and stuff. I just got hired at new york and company and Im sooo scared to start working there. Thats causing me a lot of anxiety as well and it bothers me because I wanna be able 2 just do things and not be afraid. anyone have any info about the meds or anything that may make me feel better...or any advice at all!? I notice my phobia of death has been comming back since my anxiety started to spike a little again. Does anyone else have this fear of death? Does anyone know if its just because youre anxious and your excess adrenaline levels are just causing you to have to worry and u find things to worry about? Once your anxiety calms down will the fears and irrational thoughts go away? Im so scared im gonna be like this forever even tho EVERYONE including my therapist promises me I wont be and everyone can recover. When youre in this state it seems like its hopeless!

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey saw your entry. You are on the exact dose I was on when I started my overall recovery. What I will tell you is the 20 mg Prozac is much more affective then 10... And it takes your body also two to three weeks to be constantly use to eat. I\'m happy to say it will get better. I went through all this and have been doing better. Yea I have my days, but so does everyone else. I recommend reading up about cognative thinking. It will help you figure out and control your trigger points. I know it\'s hard and you want results right away, but it doesn\'t work like that, but I can say it will work! Drop me a message if you have any questions for me. You aren\'t alone on this one!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I got a job at Ann Taylor Loft right when I was going through really really bad panic attacks- that whole depersonalization thing where you feel far away from everything, in that horrible panic state but don\'t know why, on the brink of tears. I thought I might quit after the first few days- it was so hard to keep it together and listen to my boss teach me things when all I could do was think about my heartbeat racing and wonder if I was dying or if I would be like this forever. I even burst into tears a few times when I was in the fitting rooms and thought no one was watching. But I actually really think getting the job helped- it took my mind off of the anxiety. I sort of believe that suggestion that if you pretend something enough it becomes real... I was pretending to be happy and friendly to customers, and pretending to be attentive because it was my job, but after awhile I really started to focus more on the job and less on the anxiety. Don\'t let it stress you out- remind yourself that you can always quit, walk right out even.. retail jobs are easy to come by, you could always get another one. What is the worst that will happen? You\'re already dealing with the anxiety- so the worst is that you will have to deal with it for a day while at the mall- nothing you can\'t handle! You are strong! lol

And about your doc- he is getting paid a lot of money and it\'s to HELP you. People change medicines a lot so he won\'t get pissed. You should definitely be as honest as possible. Tell him how the meds made you feel because I bet he has heard others say the same.
VioletOctober
VioletOctober

Thanks guys! And yea hopefully the jobwill just distract me in a good way and maybe it\'ll help me overcome it..I\'m so with u about the depersonalization and heart racing..it is SO hard 2 focus when ur like that it sucks so bad. I hope for the best even tho I\'m scared 2 start! Thanks for the support!
deleted_user
deleted_user

depersonalization is the worst feeling everrrrrrrr. i had that feeling for a whole summer it was awful. It is possible to get over it though. Talking your way out of it always helps me.
VioletOctober
VioletOctober

Thanks :) yeah it is horrible..talking about it helps? I try to ignore it and tlk about it..doesnt seem 2 go away tho :-/