bleh

Okay, so Ive been on the prozac a little over two weeks and it seemed like it started to help but for the past few days its been getting bad again. The obsessions are coming back and when I have panic attacks theyre more severe then theyve ever been. I dont know if this is me or the medication. I get randomly nervous throughout the day and get that "depersonalization" feeling like nothings real and it drives me nuts. It's like i can't ever completely have fun cause I'm always anxious in some way. My doc perscribed me seroquel and i took it one day then never again. I didnt like the way it made me feel plus the fact that I didnt want heavy meds like that. Im only on 10mgs of prozac maybe I need 20. I also take xanex but just .25 mgs as needed. sometimes once a day sometimes twice. if i'm really bad i usually take 1 and a half. I;m going back 2 the doc who perscribed me this. Hes not a psychiatrist but he specializes in anxiety depression and addiction. I dont really like him much, I dont feel comfortable with him but uinfortunately i have to stick with him for now because every psychiatrist i called either doesnt take my insurance or I have to wait like 1 month to get them and i need someone to monitor my medication I'm on now. I'm going back to him on tuesday just to see whats up but Im scared. i dont want him 2 give me more meds or get pissed cause i didnt like the seroquel. I wish it was easier to get a psychiatrist! Im gonna keep trying. As of now im confused about the prozac and xanex. the prozac seemed to be working somehow but now idk. The xanex, i keep getting immune to the small doses ive been taking and im afraid to raise it cause I dont wanna get addicted but as of now i still need it bad because my panic gets horrible thru the day if Im out and stuff. I just got hired at new york and company and Im sooo scared to start working there. Thats causing me a lot of anxiety as well and it bothers me because I wanna be able 2 just do things and not be afraid. anyone have any info about the meds or anything that may make me feel better...or any advice at all!? I notice my phobia of death has been comming back since my anxiety started to spike a little again. Does anyone else have this fear of death? Does anyone know if its just because youre anxious and your excess adrenaline levels are just causing you to have to worry and u find things to worry about? Once your anxiety calms down will the fears and irrational thoughts go away? Im so scared im gonna be like this forever even tho EVERYONE including my therapist promises me I wont be and everyone can recover. When youre in this state it seems like its hopeless!