ive got 2 practice some self control.  where stbx is concerned.  i cant kp calling up the pain.  i have it sure.  its here.  but talking about it with him serves no gd purpose.  just shows and reiterates how much he doesnt love me.  i dont wanna believe it.  i just dont want 2 believe that this man whom i love, whom i have children with, whom im carrying his child right now, whom married me, who sd hed love me 4ever and forsake all others wont even 4sake some nothing tramp 2 make me happier.  he wont even do that. that little thing he wont do.  and he wont call me, see about me....maybe he just truly doesnt care and if thats true...how did that happen? y did that happen?  i wish there was a switch i cld flip that wld make me stop loving and wanting him....
is there?