2day was a full day.  i had a counselling appt.  i got dressed and looked cute.  i have noticed that ive gained a good amount of weight.  my clothes are not fitting me like they had just a couple weeks ago.  anyway i went 2 borders 2 return a book.  one of the many books i bought in haste.  hus already owned it.  then treated myself 2 lunch @ the cheesecake factory.  wow that place has great food with great portions.  i had a salad a chicken salad sandwich and some  clam chowder.  i took half of it home.  portions were nice.  got some key lime cheesecake 2.  took it with b/c had no room.  but thought it was a waste 2 go 2 cheesecake factory & not get cheesecake.  hus met me there in park lot after.  we hugged some.  i dont really remember what we talked about.  it was a warm atmosphere though.  reminiscent of younger times.  i was late 4 my appt.  my counsellor made me feel better.  that im not crazy.  i always thought that it was bad that i looked 4 love from my hus 2 just add 2 my good life.  i knew that i had work 2 do on myself and that i had 2 love myself, but dr sd that thats natural and human 2 lk for love from others.  so im nt as screwed up as ive thought.  he sd regarding the thoughts of the affair and does he love her more than me etc......he sd i cant answer those questions and dont nd 2.  he sd i have 2 give it 2 god and redirect my thoughts.  he sd i cant hear god right now b/c my mind in noisy.  he agreed with my decision 2 quit the choir. i cant just kp serving and not address me and my needs.  ill b right where hus is.  he sd that its ok  4 me 2 rest but dont avoid.  he sd 2 concentrate on me and my fam.  im thankful 2 have such good people around me.  and 2 know that i have a right 2 deal with this how i am.  i took the kids 2 please touch museum even though i was tired.  they had a ball.  then we went 2 the grocery store picked up dinner.  car trouble but did get home.  praise god.