im depressed.  i am tired.  ive been informed that my husband is emotionally unavailable.  its for a gd reason because hes working on himself and allowing god to work on him. problem is ive been already waiting for him for a while now.  years hes been emotionaly unavailable.  and i am expected? supoosed to? god wants me to? is telling me to? wait some more.  it was one thing to be waiting thinking hoping any minute hes gonna wise up.  assuming that he was growing while i was growing.  assuming in a way that he was just sleep and would wake up and be the husband i needed him 2 b.  now i know thats not the case.  he's awkened praise god but there was no work being done b4.  he wasnt just sleep he was in denial and sin.  he wasnt calling out 2 the lord.  so here i am still waiting.  very tired very waery.  stronger spiritually.  but so hurt emotionally.  i love u lord and i lift my voice to worship u oh my soul rejoices.  take joy my king 2 what u hear.  let it b a sweet sweet sound in ur ear.  sweet holy spirit sweet heavenly dove. stayy right here with us filling us with ur love and 4 these blessings we lift our hearts in praise w/o a doubt we'll know that we have bn revived when we shall leave this palce.   so ive callen out of work 2 days.yday i was so exausted i slept til 11 and then went to spring mountain to walk and devotion with the lord.  his stance hasnt changed.  i am 2 stay in this marriage and this house.  im looking 4 a loophole 2 at least leave the house.  i feel like if i cant depend on u like a husband it just hurts my heart 2 b here.  it feels unfair.  cause it is.  and i am saddened that t his is my lot in life  2 feel unloved in my marriage.  it makes no dif that he is so damaged that he cant love me.  and  i am 2 wait indefinately for the time when he will.  what if that day  nvr comes or if he can nvr love me in away that satisfies  me.  then ive waited for  nothing.  4 nothing.  this is my life.  my greatest fear was that no man wld ever love me & im in a marriage that proves it.  and the eveil part is that its not im unlovable. i am loved just not by him not the way a husband is supposed 2 love a wife.  he loves me in some way but not that way.   so right now my life looks like a life of unfulfilled expectations and lovelessness.