sunday service was great.  theyve been pretty wonderful.  after i helped h teach class.  remembered when we used 2 teach youth together and we went 2 retreat with them and i snuck into the boys cabin and we had a quickie.   while pastor was preaching i thought that maybe my h really screwd that gurl up big time.  that he was overtaken by evil and sin and if hed bn really involved with me at that time that he wouldve  really messed me up. i was suffering and lonely but i knew God was still with me.  during the time i grew and matured.  God allowed this 2 happen in my life b/c perhaps he was protecting me from h.  perhaps he would have sucked me into his sin in some way. God knows.  i dont.  its truly getting easier.  that isa blessing.