i feel i can hardly breathe.  my neck is tight.  im tired and hyper at the same time.  i fl like God is fighting against me.  i spent 1000 dollars to get his car fixed.  that would have covered 2 months rent.  i thought well ill go to a hotel stay a couple days.  tried to book it 2 late and cant check in til 2morrow.  i feel like my spirit is being killed.  why shd i accept this?  why shd this b okay?  i made love 2 him last night.  i feel desparate.  i know theres tech nothing wrong w/it.  hes my husband.  but theres gotta b something damaging about having sex with someone u havent 4given.  there were moments that it was like she was there with us.  i didnt feel that from him but i felt it. i feel like a dummy for loving him.  4 being nice 2 him.  4 not totally stompinghim.  my mother says just let it go.  says i need 2 think of myself and my children.  iam thinking of myself.  imbetter than being married 2 a cheater.