feeling trapped. dont trust him. when he doesnt answer his phone i wonder where he is.  wonder if hes where he says he is. i want 2 move out.  i want some space of my own. i want 2 c what my life wld b like on my own w/o him.  my health is being affected.  my mother says let it go.  im not ready 2 do that.  i dont wanna stay here right now. i dont know if its perm, but he got 2 sin and fuck around and be loved and cared 4 by me and this other chick for 2 fucking years.  and what do i get.  2 just accept it and go on?  thats not acceptable 2 me.  i can 4give him, but im not convinced that anything will be dif.  i kinda feel like im dying. i had a job interview and again i didnt  get it.  i was early 4 the interview.  seemed like it went really well.  but they didnt want me. i dont have a job so i cant support myself.  it seems so unfair.  i know i have been on the recieving end of Gods grace many times but damn! his lifes just going great.  he got a raise.  he still has his wife.  he got away with cheating on me for 2 years. we were in foreclosure and he gotthe money 2 save our home from his mistriss.  i hate this house.  hate it.  im the injured party & im supposed 2 just 4give and 4get and go on like it nvr happened.  that sounds like maddness 2 me. i can certainly 4give someone who has wronged me, but u dont keep them in ur life.  u get rid of them.  a part of me wants my marriage b/c i love my husband, but i dont know if i can ever get past what  hes done.  i didnt do this and i dont want 2 suffer behind it. but im trapped.  i dont have a fucking job.  how can this be happening? why is this happening 2 me?  arent i low enuf?