i fl like im losing my h again. weve bn connecting in spite of b/c of this ordeal.  ive bn reaching out 2 him and allowing him 2 reach out 2 me in spite of what hes done. hoping that we can cultivate a relationship.  and now hes coming to grips or rather beginning 2 come 2 grips. maybe he was kidding himself.  i am dealing with it.  i am dealing with that he commited adultery.  i am dealing with that hes not bn emotionally available 4 2 years.  im dealing w/it much better than wld b expected.  so maybe 4 that reason he kid himself that it wasnt that bad? now that the ow was unwilling 2 even here him out, he is faced with how he has wronged her.  kinda pisses me off b/c again i fl 4gotten.  hes depressed b/c she's so distraught.  he wronged her so much.  he only broke his vows 2 me.  shes really unstable and im not.  im handling.  im low functioning, but i seem 2 b ok.