fear

im afraid that im pregnant. i havent been taking my pill b/c it killed my sex drive. and right now my  sex drive is heightened. parts of me that havent been sensitive in years r now feeling pleasure.  i  thought it cld b something emotional.  but my breasts are really supple and so i wonder if im pregnant.  i dont want 2 b preg again at all, but right now it wld really b bad.  im getting some more freedom b/c the children r getting older.  my husband started cheating on me when my son was 6 moths old.  he was beginning 2 lose interest when i was preg with son.  so throughout my preg id have 2 b in counselling.  & worried that hed go back 2 the same habits as last time i was preg.  how cld i c this child as a blessing when h was cheating when concieved.  how cld i effectively go through counseling with so many hormonal changes.  and im just starting 2  lose weight again.  im gonna take a test and if im not, i need some birth control.  i wld love my h 2 get a vasectomy; hes not willing.  i cld prob push his hand, but then his sex drive cld b lessoned.  if he believes that it means something 2his manhood or something.  so im looking into getting my tubes tied for my peace of mind.