last night

made love with my husband.  i was apprehensive.  he asked if he cld sleep with me. wed bn talkin alot.  he sd he wanted 2 hold me.  that hed wanted 2 kiss me when wed been close.  i sd he cld sleep with me.  i was afraid that id think of his infidelity.  all the while i asked the lord 4 protection.  i asked him 2 take away my hurt and pain as we inched 2ward each other.  h was so grateful that i was willing 2 let down my guard at all. our sex had bn unsatisfying 4 me 4 sometime. i was verbal about it but no changes were made. he seemed 2 not b all that interested and i was unwilling 2 do all the work.  so he would of course get his and id b neglected.   anyway last night was sowarmand caring and loving.  hadnt been that way in a long time.  i cant remember the last time it was like that.  anyway im glad.  he is now hopeful.  i am feeling less angry.  still very drained. the anticipation of rebuilding our relationship. im thankful 2 God 4 mercy.  this is hard, but not unbearable.