been lookn @ h facebook, and emails.  everything has a  dif connotation now that i know hes been lying.  this so sucks.  this whole situation sucks.  i doubt if he loves me.  i wonder where hes going everytime he leaves the house.  i wonder if hes talkn 2 her.  if hes still in contact.  i mean if he cld just leave her alone.  why didnt he?  why after all this time does my input matter.  now hes cut off all contact b/c i sd so.  why didnt he do that b4.  hes bn involved w/her 2 yrs.  it hurtsbut i still love  him.  i fl lk such a chump.  i gave my whole heart 2 him.  i miss our closeness.  i want to sleep with him 2nite but i fl like why shd i.  how pathetic am i 2 still want my cheatn h.  i was readn his posts on facebook and readn his emails 2 the ow.  and i felt lk a vouyer on my own h.  he wasnt sharing so much with me.  it hurts.  i feel cheated.  i nvr expected him 2 make me feel like the ow or like an afterthought.  unimportant.  like hes loyal or like hes with me out of duty b/c of our children.  b/c he shd b with me.  b/c he married me.  how will i ever know what he really feels if he cld decieve me 4 2 yrs?  i dont want anyone 2 settle 4 me.  i am a catch. any man wld be blessed 2 b loved by me.  why wasnt i enuf?  i know logically that its not me, its something lacking in him.  but emotionally i cant help feeling rejected.