it irritates me. annoys me that just b/c someone is related 2 u by marriage, they fl they have the right 2 tell u about anything they think is wrong. doesnt fl lk its from a place of love...just criticism. made me angry. hus aunt did this 2 me. i tld him bad enuf i have 2 hear it from ur mother,and now from ur aunt 2. he was angry 2. sd he has 2 go through it w/his fam all the time & b/c i am his wife that i must suffer it also. basically urging me not 2 take what she says 2 heart & 2 deal w/it. im so tired & the heat is not helping. i just want 2 b left alone. im irriated & hot. makes me not want 2 do anything. cause when i start moving i start sweating. theres so much laundry that nds 2 b done. massive amnts of laundry. i fl lk my life sucks so much. i fl trapped. its by choice which makes it worse. im working in a stupid job i dont want 4 money. im so unsatisfied. its me. ive flt this way 4 so long. when i was single i wanted a man. i had no children, i wanted them. now i have them & they sometimes feel like a hindrance. Lord what is this ache in me? i seek u. i seek what u want 4 me. & i fl i keep missing the mark. no matter whats going on i fl dissatisfied. if i go back 2 school then i have 2 give up my down time. tv chillin, computer, etc. laundry & household work still must be done.....children still nd 2 b fed etc. ill still nd 2 work. and i have 2 find some way 2 pay 4 it. Lord im frustrated and afraid 2 try. tired of being let down. tired of letting myself down. the children sm 2 b ansy. my guess they're hot. im very irritable b/c of the heat. humidity is terrible. its 5...nd 2 do dinner. im hungry. i kp eating junk. its cause of my mood.
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I can feel your pain. I was once there where you were. 15 years ago, I had a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I had no car, no air conditioning, dh worked 12 to 16 hours, six days a week. All I did was change diapers, monitor naps, make suppers, entertain kids, drag them to the beach, read story books. One summer it was so freakin\' hot that we actually fried an egg on our side walk. What I did was I made it as a tour of duty. I made myself comfortable. We put sleeping bags on the floor like mats and we had a basket of activities. We watched Nick at Night. We just didn\'t move around a lot.
Yesterday we took DS back to his apt. at University. He is staying up there for the summer to take a summer class and work a job. I said \'when do you think you could come home?\' He says I don\'t know..maybe Thanksgiving. DS is very busy with his work life/social life and school life. When we came home last night on the drive I was thinking of where did the time go? Little did I realize but I did enjoy those days when time moved slow. It really wasn\'t that bad. It wasn\'t until I thought to myself, \'this too will pass so just enjoy the moment. Enjoy the present, enjoy the childish laughter, the chuckles, the big grins the grimy cookie crumbed hugs, the child art, the trumphs and the skinned knees, the learning to ride bikes, the frusration when a teddy lost a leg and it had to be sewed back. I started to get misty eyed. Those days are gone. When Ds was home he was out the door as fast as he parked his bags as he was going out with his pals. He did stay home and we did go for ice cream and I just savored those moments like a fine wine. It goes so fast, and you can\'t do rewind like you can do a VCR. Once the time is past it is over. Enjoy those kids. Enjoy the crankyness, try to find activities that will keep kids quiet, and rejoice in the fact that your kids are young and you have been given the JOB to look after them. Or should I say, Blessing to look after them. My youngest is 17. She has a job. She is going to the movies with a young lad tomorrow. There is going to be a time when she won\'t have time for me.
To everything there is a season. So enjoy the season you are in as it goes fast. One day you will be going home after you left your kid off at school and you\'ll be thinking \'I am glad that I had the time I had with my kids.\' It was indeed a good thing.It seemed like it would never end but that time did.
Thank God that you are in your right mind and that fear doesnt control you, I was in the same situation as far as living life and not a worry, then panic attacks struck my life and I constantlt live in fear......So be grateful, he can do it for you ....And I know hes gonna help me......(smile)