i feel so defeated. my husband just told me that he gave up his dream 2 have a fam.  i didnt think it was either or.  i fl sodisconnected.  i dont even know what my dream is...so  im floundering w/o focus.  im trying 2 do the book dealing.  i nd 2 go 2 library sales 2 get inventory.  but i find taking the children a major distraction.  but hus schedule rarely allows him 2 take kids. i fl guilty spending money on sitter when they already go 2 daycare all wk.  but taking them w/me is a real pain.  i fl the only time im away from them is when they go 2 slp & when im at wrk.  a job that i dont want 2 b @.   why try when  ur just gonna get knocked down. is this adulthood,parenthood.  giving up urself.  giving up dreams.? i didnt take the job as a flight attendant b/c of fam...im wondering if that was a  mistake. if i devote all mytime 2 fam & ignore me...then im not happy.  if i am self absorbed and dont take fam into consideration then they're not happy....& im not either. when there r so many needs & desires w/all of us....how do i balance them?  i now want my degree 2 be in social work i fl like i suck