Im so frustrated right now. I feel that my h is so busy addressing everyone elses prob b/c he doesn’t wanna address his own. Last night he came home from wrk ate dinner and then ran off 2 men’s meeting…and then drives off 2 jersey 2 help someone else. I am in trouble. Our marriage is in trouble & hes helping everyone else. And now up early 2 run off 2 the church 2 again help someone else. And now he wont answer his phone. He sd a few minutes and here we r an hour later. And then I feel bad b/c I didn’t answer the phone last night. A friend of mine works my last nerve. I love her, but she is so negative and argumentative sometimes that I don’t want 2 talk 2 her. So I found out her grandmother died. I didn’t answer when she called. I was going through my own stuff. And although I know that I have a right 2 not answer my phone I feel bad that I was not there 4 her. When I describe my husband I describe him as distant and emotionally unavailable. He sd that he doesn’t want 2 change. Accepting this is hard 4 me. It closes doors in my mind. We wont grow 2gether. We wont get closer. This….how things r…this is it. But it frees me to take care of myself….cause I havent been. I need 2 be independent of him. Getting a job will help w/that. I guess our sex life will stay the same. Cause w/this divide bet us I wont feel much like getting romantic. Im so angry. I feel cheated. I thought I was marrying my best friend and I feel like I got a boyfriend. A superficial relationship. Not a soulmate at all. He sd he wants me 2 understand, but he doesn’t wanna share. Im afraid that he feels 4 me like his mother feels 4 me. Its a wedge. U tell me that u don’t share neg feelings w/me……i feel like im settlingim not getting all i wnt.....is it enuf?i dont want a divorce....itll b more trouble than we have now....but i am so saddened
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