im tempted 2 just do wrong.  im tempted 2 cheat.  to drink.  i have been tempted 2 overeat and i have been overeating.  im frustrated.  im not really talking much 2 h. he can tell that im upset,but i wont tell him why.  4 1 im not sure....and 4 2 i want him 2 experience the same silence that i feel from him.  its wrong the reason.  but i just dont have anything 2 say 2 him.  journalling is helping. makes me feel a little peaceful.  or numb.  s is out. he went 2 men's meeting.  i forgot that he got off wrk @ 645.  hes been wrking til midnite a lot of nites.  right now im thnking of him,  but i dont miss him.  i wld have gone 2 staples, but hes gone.  i made a lovely photo calendar,but i must  bind  it.   im  not  sure  if  i  want  2  make  calendars  4  s fam.   im  not  sure  if  anyone  will  like  them  more  than  me.  its  nice.  i  thnk  his  fam  will  enjoy  them . especially those  who r far away...they nevr get 2 c the kids...come have nvr seen lil s.