ok tday not so bad, but not so good.  i went to the y but didnt work out; vented to the staff is the babysitting room.  stayed for prob two hours.  went and found me a bday cake.  went to oteri's italian bakery on 5th st in olney.  pound cake with buttercream icing.  gurls sang me happy bday.  found a journal written by husband.  he wrote that he had been unfaithful to marriage and was hidign it.  i asked him about it he sd hes been watching and masturbating to porn.  at night when hes sleeping on the counch and im upstairs.  at one yime we watched porn tgether and then i felt convicted and we threw away all our tapes.  i have searched for it from time to time online, but i would always tell him about it.  i ahev had issues with porn in the past b4 marriage.  i felt that if i talked about it and didnt make it a secret that it wld have less power.  it worked and i havent really thougth abour it much.  apparently steve started watching stuff last yr in nov and has off and on.  i fnd a pic or website on his computer once and he sd he would stop.  that it was no big deal.  i feel like hes beiing lying 2 me.  ive asked him whats going on and he says nothing.  he doesnt wanna get help.  im tired.  i feel like im in this alone.  i cooked fried chikcen and rice and string beans.  really for me.  so u cld say i had my bday tday.