tday i went to a bloodback. i gave bld for money.  i dont know how i feel about that...i am desperate...and i shldnt be.  im hustling...i wanna help but i gotta take care of my kids.  putting them in day care and us struggling to pay that is not gonna help.  i dont wanna have to kill myself to make ends meet.  and even when i try to do the right thing it ends up wrong.  i borrowed the money to pay for isis camp.  i barely touched the acct.  then i made a mistake tday.  i can usually buy gas on a wed and it wont hit the acct til fri after the paychk hits..well there was something wrong with the pump raeder so i had to go inside and he scans it like a reg cc purchase which will show up sooner.  and then i c that hubby has taken out 40 buck again w/o telling me!!!!!!  we had this big blowout about just that and apparently it made no dif b/c he did it again...he says he took it out to cover a gas purchase he made with his acct...fine but tell me...he took it out yday and didnt say a word.  so he says he was gonna borrow the money to put it back...im like why didnt he just do that at first?  so we were arguing and i was feeling faint with the heat and having not eaten in a whle and having given bld....and he missed the bank....it was closed.  and then i wanted to buy a cake that id like and i couldnt find one...i cldnt find a bakery.  i found one but cldnt find place to park.  he tells me in the heat of the argument that hes been depressed for a yr....that i didnt need to know b/c i cldnt do anything about it.....how do u have a relationship w/ someone and not tell them?  and think thats ok...i wanna leave....i am hurt...i depend on him....i dont know him....i resent the children b/c w/o them i cld leave.  i told him that too.  im so frustrated and spent and scared.  and the ins co doesnt wanna fix his car and it costs more than half what the car is worth to fix it...the estimate was over 6 grand the car is woth 10