got an email from a life ins co about a job. im gonna go to the interview...dont know if its worth it...dont know if i want it, but im curious enuf to chk it out. my eye's been hurting...may need to chnge my contact. talked to hubby last night. i just feel like we dont understand each other. he thinks im miserable at home with the kids. i wldnt describe it that way, but thats how he sees it. i hated my job b4 i stayed home...im afraid its me..that i just wont b happy...that i cant b happy. all my responsibilities r choking me. i find myself regreting having children...regreting getting married...that id b happier if i was just alone. not sure...ive had a lot of ups and downs throughout my life. lately more downs. i thought id b special and great. my life is not the way that i thought it wld b at this pnt in my life. i didnt know what id b doin, just not this
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You are just havin\' a bad day girl. There were days when I regretted having kids but that was when I was in a mood most foul. But really I adore my kids. I think happiness is something you have to find within yourself.It isn\'t a job, it isn\'t kids, it isn\'t your dh. It is being happy and content with yourself and your lot in life. Even though things are tough, at this point, kids are little and getting on your nerves, you need to take time out for yourself, refresh yourself, be good to yourself and then sort of try to make something good out of a tedious situation. Your life is not OVER!! You are NOT IN THE GRAVE!!! YOU still have a lot of living to do. Right now you are at a season in your life where you have to do your job, raise your kids and then dream of what it is you would like to do or maybe put your kids in day care part time and persue some of your dreams. I\'m almost 50 and I have dreams and I am working towards them..I could say bugger, this is my life..kids/home tutoring / now what... but no!! I am going to pursue something I always wanted to do and if that goes crashing --which it won\'t...then I will do something else..because ultimately I want to write, I have already written and published a book.
Your life is not measured too by what you do, it is who you are. You are special and great. You are a mom, you are moulding three little lives, you are their teacher, you are their caregiver, you are the one that is teaching them about the Lord. What greater gift is that!!! I got in trouble by my college professor when I told her my grandmother was \'just a mother\' but when I dug down deeper she was a successful mother of 10 kids, sold dolls and gave dolls to orphanages, made pies for the grocery next door, and most important of all she loved me. I still think of her! What a great woman!!! You don\'t have to be a Rocket Scientist to be great!!! Do what you want to do ...you have plenty of time. I wish I was your age again!!!
LL