i dont really know what's going on with me. i feel like im being pulled in so many directions...its hard 4 me 2 hear god's voice...satan is talkin loud!!!!!...i keep having thoughts of totally ruining my life...i watch a documentary on meth and i feel like im being lured or dared to do it...i talked to my hubby about it cause i didnt want to give it any power....silence helps stuff like that to grow. my dad is addicted to pot and my uncle died an alcohol and drug addict...i assume that i will b an addict if i ever try ant drug so i dont go anywhere near it...i have drank, but its nvr been a prob one way or the other...i havent drank in yrs b/c of preg or nursing...anyway food has been my drug of choice...some yrs ago it was sex too....anyway..i am so afraid of not loving my children...my fam...my life...myself...i am doing so much better...i havent been depressed...im active and lively...im engaging with my children...i am so blessed and so afraid of screwing it up...and i guess i figure itll take something major to do it...and ifeel like satan is just wispering in my ear..and sometimes hes loud as hell!...shut the f up...god has been good 2 me and i want to b good 2 him...plz lord just keep protecting me and show me how i can b of service to u and ur people...amen!!!!!...yall keep me in prayer and just know that u can tell the devil to shut up...he can only suggest...he cant make u do anything...u have free will...and the devil does not wish u well...u have the power of god if u accept it to tell the devil to get behind u and to leave u alone....smile....so glad i remember that...amen