i fear that i will soon have an emotional divorce and later an actual divorce. things r not getting better...im getting angry....he keeps pushing me away...hes making no effort to get us closer...theres no passion and he seems cool with it....hes not really helping me in the house....i feel alone i might as well b alone....im lookin at the door....the only thing keeping me here right now is money...i dont have any. if i had money i would have already left....i dont think he gets that...or i think maybe he doesnt care.....hes not showing me anything...i keep pouring out my heart to him and hes giving me nothing. if i stay im considering cheating....i said it...i dont wnat to say it to him b/c i dont want to hurt him, but i dont think he sees how close we are to ending this....i keep hoping that if he saw the severity of this situation maybe hed react dif. he doesnt seem to b reacting at all, but thats what steve does...he acts like nothings wrong...hopes that it will fix itself. im making a point to talk to people that i know will give me good advice and wont advize me to leave my husband or cheat on him....not like theres anybody else who wants me anyway....but it seems like my husband just doesnt want me....i fine to care for his children and clean his home...but he hasnt really touched me or kissed me...ive been chasing him..begging him to b with me...i told him that it makes me feel like a whore...why shd i have to beg my husband....i i wanted to get laid...i cld, why doesnt my husband want me. i gotta listen to crying children...and look at this house...i cant go anywhere alone...im just here....and then when he comes home hes not even here...im thinking of getting a night job and hell have to either stay home and quit school or find a sitter, but that would no doubt be his intrusive mother or sister and i dont even want them in my home. or i could get a day job, keep my money..and let him figure out how to pay for day care. at least it would b easier than moving out. i wanna remove myself from anything that has to do with him...his children...his church...the chior...his fam...im drownin and he doesnt seem to notice.
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Hang in there you are not alone! If he isn\'t making you happy keep praying because if he will not listen to you well know that he will listen to God. Remember marriage is work he is your husband and let know man tear apart what God has put together. Maybe try and act as if it is not bothering you as much try acting as if ok i will be happy from now on my happiness is not going to be based on how you treat me anymore, reverse it back on him men even husbands want what they cannot have, maybe things do need to be different and more interesting and the ideas you have on working outside the home you are on the right track and go ahead and let the en-laws babysit he probably thinks that you would never do that and this is keeping him on his toes and he may think he know\'s ya but he really has know idea. Hang in there and always pray and keep your faith and God will be true to you always and God will guide you but this is something i am still learning and this is sometimes God is trying to tell us what to do but we cannot be quiet long enough for us to hear him. Listen and don\'t question it if God is telling you to work then work sometimes we look for excuses not to do it only because we are scared don\'t be scared as long as you are not cheating on your husband and staying true to God he will guide you...