i took a shower. i smell good and feel ok. i talked to steve a bit and it was pointless. i think i shall just try to b happy and not pressure him...hell talk when hes ready and im driving myself nuts trying to force him to talk. ill try to enjoy some of thr time i have to myself....i like sleeping alone but i miss him being there when i wake up...we need a bigger bed. id love to fall asleep in his arms especially after sex but its just not comfortable...and when im clinging to the edge of the bed b/c he sleeps diaginlly i appreciate when he sleeps downstairs. life is so hard...either way juat doesnt seem right...dont wanna sleep with im dont wanna sleep w/o him....if those r the only choices ill choose w/ him. but im not gonna beg.