Here We Go Again
Good ole' dad thought he'd torture me again. I've been telling him that he needs to eat, that he's getting skinny. He insisted that he hadn't lost a pound. So, I started cooking for him, only to have it fed to the dog.
Today we were suppose to go food shopping. I go over once a week. He refuses to get decent food. Anyhow, I called to tell him I was on my way. And he told me a friend had taken him to the store. That he'd lost 15 pounds because he didn't have food. And that it was all my fault. Why, just last week he told me he hadn't lost a pound. So that means he's lost 15 pounds in one week. If only I could do that.
Anyhow, I told him you know it's not true, that it would be like me blaming him for my being fat. He's skinny because he refuses to eat. I'm fat because I refuse to stop eating. And that's that. Well he started screaming, I started centering myself in the moment, told him goodbye, and put his number on call block with voice mail. Meaning that all future calls will not ring my phone but will go directly to voice mail. All his messages are transcribed and I get to look at the length to determine if I want to hear them. The transcription is never right, but a long message means he's cursing and screaming.
So that's that, but his old days of ruling me and torturing me are over. I stand strong with the full armor of God. And now for the rest of my wonderful day because I didn't want to go anyhow. Now, I get to sit home and relax and maybe have dinner with a friend or with my dog. But the day is all mine to do as I please. And for that I'm thankful.
Now for the other area of my life. I've made a decision that was influenced by four factors: Mom died at 69, husband 59, son-in-law 33, dad retired at 82 and sits in a house by himself, doing nothing. no friends except the ones he pays. Based on that, I've decided to embrace my early retirement, instead of getting upset that I'm drawing down my 401k. Financial planners often tell you about making sure you have enough money to live on in your 80s and 90s. But what the heck. Look at the 80 somethings sitting in nursing homes, or sitting by themselves at home, all their friends dead. Or they're giving their savings to a nursing home.
So, with that in mind, I'm taking a vacation next year and am going to enjoy that money because I'm feeling good now!
Today we were suppose to go food shopping. I go over once a week. He refuses to get decent food. Anyhow, I called to tell him I was on my way. And he told me a friend had taken him to the store. That he'd lost 15 pounds because he didn't have food. And that it was all my fault. Why, just last week he told me he hadn't lost a pound. So that means he's lost 15 pounds in one week. If only I could do that.
Anyhow, I told him you know it's not true, that it would be like me blaming him for my being fat. He's skinny because he refuses to eat. I'm fat because I refuse to stop eating. And that's that. Well he started screaming, I started centering myself in the moment, told him goodbye, and put his number on call block with voice mail. Meaning that all future calls will not ring my phone but will go directly to voice mail. All his messages are transcribed and I get to look at the length to determine if I want to hear them. The transcription is never right, but a long message means he's cursing and screaming.
So that's that, but his old days of ruling me and torturing me are over. I stand strong with the full armor of God. And now for the rest of my wonderful day because I didn't want to go anyhow. Now, I get to sit home and relax and maybe have dinner with a friend or with my dog. But the day is all mine to do as I please. And for that I'm thankful.
Now for the other area of my life. I've made a decision that was influenced by four factors: Mom died at 69, husband 59, son-in-law 33, dad retired at 82 and sits in a house by himself, doing nothing. no friends except the ones he pays. Based on that, I've decided to embrace my early retirement, instead of getting upset that I'm drawing down my 401k. Financial planners often tell you about making sure you have enough money to live on in your 80s and 90s. But what the heck. Look at the 80 somethings sitting in nursing homes, or sitting by themselves at home, all their friends dead. Or they're giving their savings to a nursing home.
So, with that in mind, I'm taking a vacation next year and am going to enjoy that money because I'm feeling good now!
Replies
Good for you, hold that thought .
You go girl I am so proud of you for how you delt with your Dad. His baggage shouldn\'t hold you down. He is just miserable and wants you to be too. Love your new outlook. Hugs. jane
I am so proud of you. Instead of always helping others, its about time you did something for yourself.
Your dad will survive no matter how many lies he tells to anyone who will listen and at this state of life he doesn\'t care who listens to him lie to their face. The weight loss means either he is not eating or he has major health issues. My friend Dave lost weight and the doctor was majorly concerned about his health. They checked for colon and rectal cancer but was given a green light. Dave has not checked it further as he is greatly afraid of the results.
You know I just want to enjoy my life. I don\'t care if I live to 80 or 90. I want to have a happy life and die when the good Lord takes me away no matter what the age. You have to live in the now and not for the future. Enjoy the life you have been now. Don\'t wait for anything. What are you waiting for? Kick up your heels as you don\'t know how long you have on God\'s green earth.
Good for you and again I am so proud of you from DianeB
Great news all around. Have fun while you can. God is good.
Paula
sounds like a great idea to me....