On ......
I rarely say the word. I'll say passed, transitioned, gone on, not here, but never the D word. I'll type it here: Death, dead. It's a hard word. Doesn't exist for Christians because we know that life continues in Heaven. I don't know how I could deal with this if I didn't believe that.
But back to the D word, and this is purely from a non-religious viewpoint. I think the hardest thing about dealing with death is the suddeness of it. Think about it--you spend your life building things.. you go to school, you exercise, you fall in love, you dream of the future, you have kids, you watch them grow, you have grandkids, you have a job, you build your career--it's life. So, how does all that suddenly just stop? How can you do so much in life and it just ends? Doesn't matter how much notice you get either, when life ends, it's sudden, because now everything you've ever cared about, everything that ever mattered means nothing. So, it's not just the physical body that dies, it's everything else as well.
My husband passed nearly three years ago. We had all sorts of plans. He was a loving man. He loved his daughter, me, his grandkids. He'd have given his life for any of us. But now he's not here and everything that happens to us means nothing to him(remember I'm not talking religion here). He could care less if I eat or how much I hate my job or even if I have a roof over my head. He doesn't care what happens to his daughter. Doesn't care about her future. He doesn't care if one of us gets sick. It's night and day. How do you get used to that? How do you get used to the end of loving and caring. I no longer matter to my husband. His daughter, grandkids no longer matter to him. These are concerns of the living.
We are dust in the wind.
But back to the D word, and this is purely from a non-religious viewpoint. I think the hardest thing about dealing with death is the suddeness of it. Think about it--you spend your life building things.. you go to school, you exercise, you fall in love, you dream of the future, you have kids, you watch them grow, you have grandkids, you have a job, you build your career--it's life. So, how does all that suddenly just stop? How can you do so much in life and it just ends? Doesn't matter how much notice you get either, when life ends, it's sudden, because now everything you've ever cared about, everything that ever mattered means nothing. So, it's not just the physical body that dies, it's everything else as well.
My husband passed nearly three years ago. We had all sorts of plans. He was a loving man. He loved his daughter, me, his grandkids. He'd have given his life for any of us. But now he's not here and everything that happens to us means nothing to him(remember I'm not talking religion here). He could care less if I eat or how much I hate my job or even if I have a roof over my head. He doesn't care what happens to his daughter. Doesn't care about her future. He doesn't care if one of us gets sick. It's night and day. How do you get used to that? How do you get used to the end of loving and caring. I no longer matter to my husband. His daughter, grandkids no longer matter to him. These are concerns of the living.
We are dust in the wind.
Replies
True. It\'s much harder to be the one who is still here. I think all the aloneness is overwhelming. The person you spent a lifetime making plans with is just gone. Then there\'s all the if onlys, all the things you should have, could have, would have done differently if only you had known.
Your husband has died. He is in heaven. He still loves each and everyone of you as if he were on this planet. Nothing has changed except the fact he is not walking on God\'s green earth. You all will join him in heaven when it is your time. Right now is not your time. If have more important things to do for the Lord on this planet. It sucks I know. I miss my Smokey and he has been gone 3 years. I am just healing in my body, heart, soul and spirit now. From Diane B.
It\'s harder on the ones left here to continue on, contend with all the stuff that we end up dealing with.....know what you mean....living with out bigbear sucks....