i think that if i want to be happy, i need to forget about the past. if only i could have my memory erased. i need something to do that will help keep my mind on the right path. its hard to do now and im sure it will be hard to do later in life but i must try and do so before it ruins my life. ive already come to the conclusion that when i finally break i might commit murder, but no garuntees yet. these memories are driving me crazy.