Ive coiled myself back to a place where i dont wanna be,running from what life really means.beyond my utopia are remose and lies, the odiums of my lifes disguise. whats left of my life, i dont fucking know, so ill just let that go. but i promise myself, i can forget the regrets, nomore pain, nomore feeling sorry for the reject.ruin the pasts image of who i was before,ignore my backstabbing  friends calling me a whore.i know youve said it all, so go ahead and admit.perseptions a bitch, i hope you know i feel like shit.exploit accusations for your own fucking humor.getting off by spreading the rumors.try and see through the distortion,of my lifes misfortunes.see through the hallucination of my lifes creation.you live in shame, you justify your denial,how do you feel now youve been put on trial?embrace what i mean and imagin if it was you,swallow down a bottle of pills and wait for your lips to turn blue.cut your body again and again to know that you are real,run your fingers across the wounds to see if you still feel.destroy the confidence you once didnt fear,now tell me why in the fuck do you still wanna be here?just when you think i couldnt have gone further,i went ahead and planned out a murder.will i go through with it, who fuckin knows, so this goes out to all of those,fuck your wretched feelings,you obviously dont care about mine.i hope you suffer for the rest of time.Mary Jane