I havent been on here in a long time and i look back on some old entries and one said that i wasnt going to get with this drummer kidd and i did, but i guess thats just me. always going the other way,  ignoring whats right. im glad to say that i am back with Mike and i couldnt be happier. i still think of what he was doing with those other girls and how he felt while i was stuck in my bedroom with verbally abusive boyfriend. turned out in the end he was capable of hurting me too. i never thought id be in a relationship like that. Mike is the best thing thats ever happend to me and why i gave up our relationship for an asshole, i dunno. i wish i wouldnt have messed things up so much. and its not just me thinking i was the cause of all the problems, i was and i regret every toe i steped out of line. he says he trusts me now but does he? i havent done anything for him not to.anyways, ive been wanting to break out of this prison called home. i need a job and i cant find one. im ready!!!! but on the other hand i dont want to deal with all the people. im too paranoid about what their thinking. why cant i just forget about it? god i hate anxity.