Today mike came over and told me he had did meth and i was so pissed off. he used to be addicted to that shit and i took him into my moms house, pretty much with out her permission, but i helped him quit that shit. i helped him get through his withdraws and when he got the shakes really bad. today i felt like i had wasted my time by trying to help him. but of course that was over 2 and a half years ago. i dont understand why he would relapse now after all that time. he blames it on me which hurts even more cuz i know i make him mad sometimes, but thats no reason to go out and get spun. and im not feelin too bad about it anymore because he knows what he did was wrong and he remembered why he quit in the first place.i dont want him to throw his life away on that shit again but im tired of having to feel guilty about when he fucks up because he blames the shit on me.i have made my share of mistakes but theres no reason to bring them up in every single argument. i dont know why he wants me to feel so guilty. i have showed him so much remorse for what ive done and he's even said it himself but yet he says i dont take any of his feelings into consideration, which is total bullshit. im sick of the games. ive had enough. Drummer Kidd invited me to his house this Friday so i hope everything goes cool because i really like this guy and i dont wanna do anything i shouldnt do. one thing i know about him for sure is he will treat me good. hes the sweetest person ive ever met and he tells me im beautiful every time he sees me. i think i might be falling for him a lil bit.but i have to stay strong for a couple more months and hope that we still feel the same about eachother as we do now. but im tired of writing and im sure ur tired of reading. so merry christmas and happy happy joy joy! <3 Mary Jane
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I hope you have fun tomorrow and stay strong.