I'm trying my damnest not to think this, not to analyze, not to act this out...but I've been thinking anymore of it just being best to divorce. I know it's said to not do anything drastic in the first year. It's going to be 6 months soon since his recovery started. This isn't the beginning of my discovery with his problem, nor his lies, nor his deceipt, nor his inactivity with the family. This marks when I told him he has a problem and I can't live with it. He knew then that he had to do something. With the help of his SA therapist and group meetings, he knows he has a problem
I just don't know how I can live with what I know. I HATE him, as he has the scars to prove my anger, yet I love him as my true soul mate. I cannot imagine being with anybody else. If we don't make it through this, there won't be anybody else....for two reasons....I love him that much, and I don't want to be hurt like this again...
we've become what I never wanted...my parents, just to avoid his parents relationship (divorced). Which is worse? It's worse for the parents to divorce, financially and due to inconvience...yet, it's selfish to stay together due to the children as they are the ones who truly suffer. They are the ones who hear their role models being torn to pieces verbally. They are the ones who take the wrath when one parent is gone. They are the ones forced to take sides, no matter who is technically/morally right. They are the ones left with the burden. I can NOT do this to my children. Either I get past all the wrongdoing, and I mean ALL or it's all over. My children mean everything to me. THEY are my world.

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Cynclaire
Cynclaire

Keep writing. Keep writing. It helps get this toxic crap out. I\'ll write more on the discussion.