I have to add that I know he's been working a lot lately. But, on the other hand I feel like he hasn't been trying to make some time with me. I can't tell you the last time we had a 20 minute, hell a 10 minute conversation....total minutes in one day....without texting being involved, or me trying to run around getting ready for work....or with him walking away from me while having a stupid conversation and him go have a smoke in the other room. He says he's been trying real hard, but honestly, I don't see much of an effort with me. What he's been doing is trying to get physically close to me, but when I'm like this, I don't always want that. It's hard to explain. I don't want to stand there and hug when I feel it could be connecting on another level than physically. I honestly believe he does that...hug, snuggles up to me because HE needs the reassurance. It's not for me.
he doesnt understand that when I said I felt so lonely during our relationship that it's because he wasn't emotionally there. I still feel it. I find myself questioning this. If he thinks he's really trying, and if it's that much an effort to be my partner, then what's the use?
this relationship isn't what I thought it was. I thought it was pure, true. I thought he respected me enough to talk to me, to confess to me, to confront me. but, I was wrong. He didn't trust me enough to confide.
I don't know what it is that I seek, or what I'm looking for in this relationship as I feel that it's been destroyed. If I feel like I'm being failed this early on, what's it going to be like another 6 months, 1 year, or 5 years from now. As far as know, he hasn't been more than 2 months without seeking out some form of porn.
This just hurts too bad at times