I"m starting to realize that I couldn't help him, nor can I. This is HIS addiction, his problem. One that he needs to mentally and physically deal with. I firmly believe that WE should've been strong enough to get through this together...if he would've only told me, as he promised he would. Yet, he didn't. He did this in secret...our entire relationship. Just as I confessed "secrets" to him, I guess I put him on a high horse and expected the same. I just thought if there was something HE wasn't happy about with US that he would've come to me, talked to me, instead of hiding behind his feelings, trying to numb them through acting out. I guess I was wrong
I am trying so damn hard to figure out this addiction. It is like none other that I know of. I know when I drink, that feeling...that calmess I get when I drink really fast to get a quick "buzz" if you want to call it that. Yet, I keep on drinking, on craving to numb myself from my troubles, my world. Is that what he was doing? If so, WHY didn't he tell me, try to talk to me, try to show me? I  tried sooo many times with him over the years, even admitting to him how I hated it when  Idrank too much, etc etc.
Is this the same "high" he got from sexual pleasuring himself? While I was at work, making money to pay the bills, being away from my babies, from tiring myself of the endless housework?
So, yet, I try to figure out his addiction...how the amount of sex, or who, isn't a factor...however, which way I look it is. If he was feeling lonely, bored, hungry, tired, horney...then....why? Why didn't he just tell ME? Why didn't he just  WAIT? So, this sex addiction has something to do with his past experiences, yet how they tie into with his present, yet they affect me.
and, here he is