In addition to my last entry, i just heard from my best friend Theresa, what i wanted to hear.  She said to not care what other people think or tell me what to do about Eli.  It's my decision, and whatever makes me happy.  I love Eli very much and he is what i'm used to.  I love seeing the fact of how he's grown a lot.  He doesnt constantly wanna argue or fight.  He doesnt accuse me like he used to.  I told Theresa the only way i'll find out is to get my hands dirty and try again with him.  I still want to move out there and with him would be a great start.  Theresa's right i shouldnt care what other people think or say about him, including my parents and including her.  Josh i dont think is gonna work out.  I just dont think i'm as into him as i thought i was.  I know Eli, i love him.  We've known each other for 6 years.  All the bad came out in the first 6 months.  I believe he knows right from wrong by now and knows how to NOT treat a woman if he loves her.