I had an excellent discussion with a counselor i just started talking to.  She is happy i've cut ties with Eli, and helped me understand my codependency and how things that have happened in my life have made me this way.  When i was younger my mom had hit me a few times, and was verbally abusive.  My dad never really did anything about it.  He didnt want part of it.  My counselor told me that things my mom has done to me has sent me a message as if it was "ok".  Therefore i live my life with men, in the same environment, such as arguing, controversy, etc.  My parents and i went on a trip to Albuquerque this weekend and mostly shopped.  My mom drove me nuts most of the trip.  She is a very selfish, and controlling person.  Prozac has helped her but she is still very controlling.  Not to the point where she is violent anymore, but she is also getting older.  Another thing that has taught me that domestic violence is "ok" is when Eli went to court for d.v. against me and he was sentenced to ONLY UNSUPERVISED PROBATION.  That is pretty much a slap on the wrist.  Well while we were in Albuquerque i was house shopping.  My parents were shopping and i was looking for a house.  I cant wait to get out of this area.  It's where i've grown up and have been all my life.  I'm sick of how everyone knows everyone, and the attitudes that everyone has.  Everyone is sooooo arrogant and believes they are better than each other.  I hate it.  I definitely will not move anywhere near Eli.  Thats for sure.  I have friends out in Burque who will kill me if i go near him.